Republicans, we need to have a talk. I know you’ve been bitter since the old white guy and the former Miss Alaska champion lost the election back in November. You were looking forward to having a Vice President you could have wet dreams over, and now that it’s over I realize how hard it must be. I understand that it must feel uncomfortable to have a president who is actually trying to make this country better and not line his pockets. Despite all of this, you have to take a deep breath and pull yourselves together before you make a fool out of yourselves. You’re making yourselves look silly, the ‘liberal media’ is having a field day making light of your condition and as a concerned friend…I must ask you to get some help and I suggest you read on to see why I feel this way…

To begin I will admit that I have suspected for quite some time that there was a problem. One of the first medical signs of dementia is mental decline and after seeing the following, I began to wonder if you had dementia and the condition was farther along than I thought:

Obama isn’t made of fabric. You cannot sow him into an anti-socialism blanket, nor can you wear him in a nicely designed dress. Old age can sometimes cause these slipups, and seeing as many republican protesters are in their late 50’s to 70’s I decided it could’ve been just one of those old people things. But then I saw this:

Medicare IS government. It’s something provided by the government, so how can the government be taken out of it? And what exactly is Guvmint anyways? Is that a new gum flavor? Does it have the taste of freedom, and our ancestors? I want a piece.

This is when I really started to worry. Slavery was abolished from this country in 1865, by a white president none the less. Another sign of dementia besides mental decline is also memory loss. I was beginning to wonder if I was truly seeing something to be concerned about…and then a few days ago Republican Joe Wilson forever became an internet meme with his paranoid cries of “YOU LIE!” after Obama’s statement that his healthcare plan would not cover illegals. O RLY?

In 2003 Joe Wilson voted FOR Taxpayer’s money to be given towards the healthcare of illegal immigrants. Don’t believe me? Check out the Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement and Modernization Act of 2003 section 1011 authorizes $250,000 annually between 2003 and 2008 for government reimbursements to hospitals who provide treatment for uninsured illegal immigrants. The program has been extended through 2009 and there is currently a bipartisan bill in Congress to make it permanent.

Was this another product of dementia, or was it something deeper? Were Glenn Beck, Joe Wilson, Rush Limbaugh and other paranoid Republicans suffering from the same disease, or was I missing something huge? For days I dug in deep to try to figure out the cause of such irrational behavior, and then it finally hit me:

Joe Wilson, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and other peddlers of misinformation are addicted to Amphetamines. No wonder Republican legislators are against health care reform, because the insurance companies that pad their wallets and make their drugs affordable might be put out of business.

What’s that? Slander you say? Well if Obama can be called Hitler, Racist, a Muslim, etc. by these very same people…I can call them drug addicts.

Don’t you just love America and the first amendment? Yeah so do I.