(image credit to chickspeak.com)
After witnessing something completely unholy in my work’s public restroom, I believe it’s best for me to comment on something that irks me down to my bitter core. I’m talking about public restrooms, and the people who refuse to wipe down the seat after they’ve accidentally relieved themselves over it…or even worse, have decided against flushing the toilet after clogging it full of shit; thus showcasing their recently released bowel movement to whomever is unfortunate enough to come across their case of Montezuma’s revenge. It’s a common experience not only at my work, but also at any local store I go to and it needs to change.
An un-flushed toilet is not only a vomit inducing and forever scarring experience for whomever is unlucky enough to have the front row seat to the visual (pardon the pun); but also an indication of just how lazy people have become that they cant even be bothered to flush a damned toilet. How long does it take to reach over to the lever and push it down? It cant be more than 5 seconds tops. Seriously. Learning to flush the toilet is something that most of us learn upon the age of 3 (or younger), and the only reasonable explanation for why un-flushed toilets are such a common occurrence, is that the aforementioned guilty parties have never formally been potty trained or told how to use a toilet.
So let me help all of you in your quest to become outstanding fucking citizens. Below is a step by step guide on how to operate the marvelous invention given to us by Sir John Herrington in 1756. Learn it, and stop surprising me with your bowel movements when I myself need to take a shit. Thanks.
